


Remnants

by DaydreamDestiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Castiel (Supernatural), Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Bottom Dean Winchester, Feelings, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Just read it ;), M/M, Post-Apocalypse, Switching, Top Castiel (Supernatural), Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Top Dean Winchester, a fuckton of them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-04-24 08:23:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19169458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaydreamDestiel/pseuds/DaydreamDestiel
Summary: A love worth everything he has left.At the end of the world a man who's lost everything struggles to find a reason to stay alive. When Dean bursts into his life, Cas can't help but be drawn to him despite his conviction that he won't let himself get close to anyone again. He can't take finding someone just to lose them.The problem is—he can't resist. Falling for Dean is as easy as breathing.In a dangerous world that threatens to consume everyone, Cas must overcome his fear of being hurt and the looming possibility of loss to remain with Dean.Is loving Dean really worth the risk?





	Remnants

**Author's Note:**

> It's no secret that I absolutely love reverse bangs and building a story around artwork. This time was no exception. [@c-kaeru](http://c-kaeru.tumblr.com) has been absolutely wonderful to work with. I loved the challenge this story presented, and I'll forever be in love with the art that inspired it. Make sure you check out the art post [on Tumblr](https://c-kaeru.tumblr.com/post/185541839521/boom-heres-the-other-pic-i-did-for-this-year) to give this amazing artist some love.
> 
> Also a huge thanks to Muse & Jojo for running another awesome challenge. <3
> 
> Enjoy.

The patter of heavy rain falling on concrete was punctuated by Cas's soaked boots splashing through puddles he didn't do anything to avoid as he walked down the deserted city street. He should've been more careful, more quiet. He didn't know this area, after all. He'd only made it to Sioux Falls this afternoon, and while he hadn't run into anyone—or anything—that didn't mean they weren't out there waiting to attack, and yet he didn't creep along carefully. Didn't bother trying to be stealthy.

It wasn't that Cas wanted to die, exactly. He didn't. He’d seen enough gruesome death to know there wasn't any glory in dying. He simply no longer had much of a reason to work so damn hard at staying alive. The only person he cared about in the whole world was gone now, and he hadn't spoken to another human being since he'd set out from Rapid City a week or so ago. Not that he wanted to. Other people were dangerous. They either wanted something from you, wanted to kill you, or wanted to make you care about them so you'd feel like shit when they died, and Cas was done with that last one in particular.

The relative silence broke in a flash. A thin figure darted around the corner of the crossroads a block ahead of Cas and barrelled toward him. Cas didn't even think about it, his hands immediately flew to the quick release latch up top on the back of his backpack. In seconds he had his compound crossbow in his hands, flicking the safety off. _Is this some kind of attack—?_

A moment later his question was answered when a massive creature, all teeth and claws and bulging muscle rounded the same corner with a growling snarl that echoed off the buildings. Cas braced the stock against his shoulder and adjusted his hold on the foregrip.

“Shit!” The teenager running toward him yelled, but he didn't stop. “You're not Dean! Oh fuck. Run!”

Cas ignored him, standing his ground as the boy ran past him and waited for an opportunity. He sighted the creature, lined up his shot, and gently nudged the trigger, hurling a bolt into the monster and taking it down. It skidded along the pavement before coming to a stop in an unsightly heap.

Cas lowered his crossbow, stuck his foot in the stirrup on the end, and cocked it again by carefully, meticulously pulling the string back with both hands until it caught. He reached back behind himself and grabbed another bolt, sliding it into the flight groove and nocking it. He'd just finished loading the bow when the kid he'd rescued came cautiously back over to him.

“No way,” he said, sounding awed. “You just… with a _bow?_ How does that even work?”

Cas reluctantly smiled, still scanning for any other sign of monsters. Something in the kid's voice or his expression reminded Cas of—he cut that line of thinking off. “Crossbows can take down a lot if you've got the right kind, and they're less noisy than guns. Less worry that it's monster friends will come running to see what's for supper. What are you doing out here by yourself?” Cas evaluated the kid. He was a little gangly, but looked healthy and well fed. Sixteen at most. Someone had to be taking care of him.

The kid crossed his arms, floppy hair dripping water down in his eyes. “Who says I'm with anyone? I can take care of myself.”

“I believe you. Do you have any weapons on you at least?”

He flushed, and scuffed his foot. “Well, I did, but uh, it's my first time scavenging on my own, okay? My brother's here too, but I got to go off by myself and what'd I do? I went off target. But me and Jess have been dying to get new books and the library was right there and—”

“And?”

He blushed darker. “And it's her birthday tomorrow.”

“Ahh. And the library is where you ran into your friend over there?”

“Yeah. It cornered me, and it was coming fast. I panicked. Climbed out a window, but my rifle snagged and the strap must've been fraying because it ripped right off and—god. I'm never gonna live this down. Dean's gonna tell everyone when we get back to camp.”

Cas rubbed at the water on his face. He couldn't just leave this kid out here defenseless no matter how little he wanted to interact with people. He sighed. “I'm Cas.”

The kid smiled brightly at him. “I'm Sam. Sam Winchester.”

Tilting his head, Cas examined the boy again. “John Winchester's kid?”

Sam swallowed hard. “Was. He um. He died a few months ago. You knew him?”

Cas winced, regretting the question. He shook his head. “Of him. I'm sorry,” he said. “Listen, I'm going to retrieve my bolt, and then I'll take you back to the library. Maybe we'll find your brother along the way.”

Sam chewed his lip, seemed torn between needing help and wondering whether to trust Cas. No wonder though, with the way people had turned on one another in the face of the end. “D'you just wander around cities helping random people?” Sam asked skeptically.

Cas laughed, and it sounded as rusty as it felt. “Not typically, no.”

“So why do you wanna help me?” His big eyes were evaluating Cas intelligently.

Something ached in Cas's chest. “Because you remind me of someone, maybe. Because I happened across you, and I used to believe things happened for a reason. It seems like the right thing to do.”

He must've sufficiently conveyed his honesty, Sam finally relaxed a little. “Okay. But if we find Dean could we maybe leave out the part about me running for my life and losing my weapon?”

Cas smirked. “Of course.” He started over toward the beast; it looked like it could've been some sort of canine-esque animal before the rapid mutations had started. No one really knew what’d caused them. The government  claimed it was some freak of nature virus that spread at incomprehensible speed, but everyone knew now the government had been lying in the final days. Claims of safety and protected cities had been proven false fast. There was no safety. And for all anyone knew the world-wide virus had been manufactured. Some people said mother nature was finally taking her revenge on the human race. Rumors and fear-based stories passed around like wildfire among survivors. As if knowing how it happened was any use to anyone at all.

Cas reached down and yanked out the bolt. He washed it off in a nearby puddle and stashed it again. “What will you tell your brother about the missing weapon if he comes across us before we retrieve it?”

 

*****

 

Dean was gonna kill the little shit himself when he found him. Sam better hope he'd been eaten by a goddamn monster ’cause it was a way better fate than what Dean had in store for him after this fuckin’ stunt. One job. Sam had one. Little. Job. Dean trusted him to look out for himself for fifteen minutes because Sam had been pestering him to do a solo mission for months and now he was AWOL.

Dean's brow furrowed as he tried to figure out where exactly Sam had gone off script. His gaze landed on the library across the street from the picked over hardware store Sam was _supposed_ to be raiding. The front door was just the tiniest bit ajar. That wasn't unusual, tons of doors were left open, but come on, a _library._ “That nerdy little rebel.” There was a note of pride in Dean's voice that wasn't entirely purposeful—he'd always been secretly impressed by how curious Sam was about everything.

Still. The little fucker was dead meat when Dean got ahold of him. Making him worry just 'cause he needed his geek fix. Not cool. If this wasn't one of the quieter areas of the city, Dean probably would've been frantic, but he would've heard Sam's gun if he was in any real danger. And there wasn't much this way that attracted the monsters.

Inside the library, Dean crept forward, leaving a trail of water behind him as he peered around book stacks, looking for Sam. He could've just called out for him, but it seemed much more poetic to catch him off guard and scare the crap out of him. At least so long as Sam's gun was still hanging off his shoulder by that ratty strap Dean kept buggin’ him to switch out.

It was too quiet though, even with the carpeted floor muffling footsteps, he should've heard some sort of noise if Sam was in here. A kernel of real concern grew in Dean's stomach.

The squeak of the front doors opening behind him prickled along his skin and left him hyper-aware. “Sammy?” he called out.

“Uh… no.” The voice that replied was low and sexy enough to perk Dean's interest. He hoped the owner matched it. He also hoped he wouldn't have to kill the guy. You never knew these days if someone you just met was gonna be friendly or psychopathic. He guessed back before the end of the world you wouldn't have known either, but at least people had probably shown _some_ restraint. “But if you're Dean I did run into your brother.”

Edging closer to where the voice was coming from, Dean glanced around the bookshelf blocking his view and saw the guy was unarmed. That didn't mean he wasn't possibly dangerous, but it meant Dean had an advantage so he stepped out with his rifle in his hands, pointed safely to the side for now, enough of a threat to be a deterrent. “You're gonna want to start talkin’ before I get the wrong idea.”

The guy looked quizzically at him. “Sam was at the hardware store, he helped me find a couple things—”

“Like what?”

“Things to repair and adjust my crossbow. Some bolts that were left behind in the hunting section.” It didn't sound like a lie, but maybe this guy was a fluent liar.

“So where is he now? I just left the hardware store.”

“He told me his next stop was here and that I should check it out when I was done; that there were lots of good books left upstairs.”

That did sound like Sam. There was a clatter from the back of the library over near the stairs. Dean darted a quick look back toward it, but his view was blocked by bookshelves. “Sammy, that you?”

“Yeah!” He came jogging around a corner with his rifle in his hands. Something suspicious was going on. Dean knew it but couldn't pinpoint what. Then he noticed the broken strap on Sam's rifle. Had he just fumbled his gun? Was he trying to play it off? “Just knocked some books over. You know me, growing limbs I can't control.”

“Like a baby giraffe learning how to walk,” Dean teased and laughed at the glare that earned him. “So who's your new friend?”

Sam must've caught the interest behind Dean's words. His eyes rolled upward, probably praying for patience. As if anyone was listening any more. If they ever had.

“Cas, meet Dean, world's biggest pain in the a—oh my god.” He slapped himself hard in the face, turning beet red, and Dean couldn’t help but laugh. “Ugh gross. I didn't need to scar myself for life and yet I did. Can we just go home now?”

“Yeah, yeah. In a minute.”

Sam mumbled under his breath and wandered off, probably to look for more books or something equally boring. Now that he knew Sam was safe, Dean was _much_ more interested in the mysterious Cas. Even soaked to the bone in clothes that clearly needed some care—or to be chucked out—Dean could tell he was smokin’. Dark lashes, gorgeous eyes, were they grey or blue? It was hard to tell in this light at this distance. The beard Dean probably could've done without, but that was more or less the norm for anyone nomadic. “So Cas, you're not from around here. What brings you to town?”

“You know everyone in Sioux Falls?”

“Everyone left, pretty much, yeah. At least by sight.”

“Hmm.”

“So…”

Cas shrugged. “I had nothing better to do. I thought I'd see a little of the world while I still could.”

Dean raised his eyebrows, a sardonic grin pulling at his lips. “And you chose Sioux Falls for your greatest hits world tour?”

Cas tilted his head. “It was close. I lived in Rapid City.”

That wasn't exactly close these days. If Cas was on foot, and judging by the condition he was in he had to be, it must've taken at least a week through monster infested wilderness. How was he even alive? Dean felt a little surge of blood rush south. He always had liked his men a little dangerous. His women too for that matter, and it got him into trouble more often than not.

“You got anywhere you're planning on stayin’ while you're in town?” Cas raised an eyebrow, wordlessly communicating _yeah, any fucking where I want. The city's deserted, dumbass._ And that was true enough.“Look, you're new. You don't know the area, and you're soaked. We have a camp. A pretty big group of survivors. It's not much, but it beats bein' out here when it's dark.” Everyone knew the nocturnal animals had mutated into to the most clever. They were vicious too. “And maybe we could get you out of those wet clothes…” Dean let that hang a moment, just enough that if Cas wanted to read into it he could. “And into some dry ones. We have a stockpile. More 'n enough to go around.”

The stare Cas gave him said he'd caught Dean's memo, and he was very, very interested in exploring that line of thinking, but then he hesitated. “I'm just passing through. Why would you want to help me?”

“It's just part of what we do.” Dean sent him a lopsided smile and bit down on his lower lip in a way that usually got him whatever he wanted. “Pick up strays here 'n there, some move on, some stay. My dad taught us if we could help people we had an obligation to.”

Cas nodded. “I'll only be passing through.”

“'F that's what you want, that's fine by me. At least let us give you a good time before you go,” he added playfully.

Distantly, he heard Sam gag. Dean's grin broadened, and Cas was looking at his lips now. Dean knew a goner when he saw one. Cas was coming home with them. Dean could tell before he confirmed it in words.

“Alright, Sammy! Let's get goin’.”

They made another quick stop by the hardware store and lucked out on a shoulder strap for Sam. Then they took Cas to the motorcycles. Crotch rockets that Dean would've been embarrassed to ride a year ago, but now they offered the best maneuverability, and if they ran into monsters, they'd need that asset. He looked back at Cas. This was gonna be fun.

 

*****

 

The cabin was packed. People clustered in groups talking and laughing, and although they made an effort to include Cas in their discussions, his one word answers and lack of interest in small talk soon left him on the outskirts—his goal ever since Dean had announced Friday nights were a “big deal” at camp and he’d been dragged along to the party in borrowed clothes on Dean’s enthusiasm.

Cas had to admit the running water they’d rigged up here was nice. He couldn’t remember the last time he had a shower that didn’t come from a bucket he dumped over himself. The water was cool but not ice-cold, so it seemed a fair trade-off with convenience. Besides, he needed the jolt to his system after riding pressed up against Dean on a motorcycle. That had been…

Cas sipped at his beer and forced his thoughts in a different direction before he ended up being the weird guy in the corner with an awkward boner.

Gettingto shave had been nice too. Cas casually rubbed a hand along his smooth cheek. He watched Dean laughing with people, watched the admiration on their faces when he spoke. It was clear these people loved and respected him. Cas found that incredibly appealing. He couldn’t explain why, but he did. Dean was good-looking without a doubt. In fact, good-looking was an understatement of such magnitude, Cas wondered if earlier, when he thought Dean was flirting with him, he’d been mistaken. Maybe he’d misinterpreted the suggestiveness in Dean’s voice.

This seemed likely considering Dean had gotten called away once they’d arrived at the fenced in camp, and Cas had been left with Sam as a guide for the day. And until Dean had arrived to drag Cas to the party, he hadn’t seen hide nor tail of him. Then again, when Dean glanced over and caught sight of Cas, his gaze was, without a doubt, appreciative. Cas felt himself flushing under the scrutiny. Dean excused himself from the conversation and made his way over.

“You’re kind of a wallflower, huh?” Dean asked, a faint smirk on his handsome face.

“I’m not exactly what they call a ‘people person’.”

“Ya don’t say.” Dean gave him another one of those once overs, like the one he’d given him at the library that made Cas go hot all over—and had much the same effect now. “I bet you’re better at one on one.”

There was the flirtatious tone back in Dean’s voice, and Cas reacted to it instantly. God, it’d been so long. He cleared his throat and sent Dean a lopsided smile, the one he barely remembered how to make, but Dean’s green eyes went dark and intent all the same. “I am.”

Dean bit down on his full bottom lip and Cas’s need to taste the little mark he left behind surged low in his belly.

“Let’s blow this popsicle stand, and you can show me,” Dean said, grinning.

“Don’t you need to be here? For morale, as you said?”

Shrugging, Dean ran his fingers along the borrowed sleeve of Cas’s jacket. “Put in an appearance. ’Sides, it’s damn hard to concentrate on _morale_ when you’re standin’ over here lookin’ like a wet dream in my clothes.”

“Oh, they’re… uh, they’re yours. Of course. Sam brought them to me. I didn't mean to…”

“To what?” Dean asked, edging closer, his hand finding its way to Cas's hip. “Have me half-hard all night, desperate to get you back to my cabin?”

“That wasn't my intention, no. But I'll gladly reap the rewards.”

Dean chuckled, full-throated and low. “Mmm. I'm sure. C'mon.” He guided Cas to the door, a few amused whoops following them out into the night air.

The rain had petered off though the sky remained starless, the moon blocked by thick clouds. Cas wouldn't have known where he was going if it wasn't for Dean leading him by the hand. Tingles of anticipation tickled up his arm, heat pooled in his gut.

Cas wasn't sure what he was doing in this camp, surrounded by these people, with Dean, when he'd planned to keep his distance from anyone else. He supposed, rather fancifully, that mere mortals were incapable of denying Dean Winchester something he wanted. Cas had only known him a few hours and he already knew that much about the man. _And right now,_ Cas thought as Dean led him up the steps to another empty cabin. _Dean wants me._

 

*****

 

It was pitch black and Dean didn't bother lighting the lamp. He knew exactly where everything was, and he brought Cas carefully to his room, keeping the contact between them limited to their hands. He liked drawing things out. Liked it even more when he could goad a partner into taking what they wanted without ever having to express in words that that was exactly what _he_ wanted too.

He faced Cas, moving in close until they were chest to chest. Cas's lips were right there, open, his face tilted up and waiting for Dean to kiss him. Heat pulsed in Dean's gut. He wanted Cas, badly. Had been dying to get him here all night and still, he just let his warm breath puff against Cas's lips.

He couldn't see Cas's eyes well enough to tell what he was thinking, but the way his breaths went shallow told Dean enough. It didn't take that long for Cas to let out a little growl and push up, hands diving into Dean's hair as their mouths met in a demanding kiss. He pressed his tongue inside, expertly flicking, swirling. He sucked and bit at Dean's lips, holding him there with hands on the back of his head. From the second they'd walked in the door, Dean was hard but his cock swelled farther against the zipper of his jeans when Cas slid one palm down, grabbed his ass and pulled him into a grind.

“Fuck, Cas.”

“If you insist.”

Dean chuckled—a sound that cut off when Cas shoved him back onto the bed. He bounced on the mattress and stared up at Cas, slack jawed and so turned on at the show of strength.

“Of course, you'll need to get those clothes off. If you want me to fuck you.”

“Hell yes,” Dean muttered, scrambling to get out of every last stitch of clothing he was wearing—jacket and shirt rapidly pulled off, pants and underwear shoved hastily down getting caught on his boots. He rolled his eyes at himself and scrambled to unlace his boots. When he was finally naked, he schooched back on the bed, leaving plenty of room for Cas.

It took Cas longer to undress, Dean's eyes had adjusted to the dark and he could just make out his outline, hear the sound of fabric rustling. _His clothes. Dean's._ It hit him again, this possessive heat that made him want to own every inch of Cas. Ludicrous, since they'd just met and Dean didn't know a whole lot about him other than he wasn't a fan of socializing, and that he made fast friends with Sam. And that he kissed with a single minded focus that made Dean's cock jump just thinking of it.

Cas skimmed his hands up along Dean's spread legs as he knelt on the bed, fingers brushing over his thighs, thumbs pressing into the cut of his groin.

“Any day now, Cas,” Dean said. It was supposed to be a light joke, a push to get him to hurry up, but Dean's voice was too breathy, and Cas's hands just kept inching over Dean's skin.

“I'll go exactly as fast as I choose to. And I have the feeling… you'll like what I choose.” Dean's little gasp was proof Cas was right.

He kissed his way up Dean’s inner thighs. Dean’s cock bounced and hardened, already needy, already looking for attention. Cas bypassed it, moved up to play his tongue and teeth over Dean’s nipples, wrenching tiny sounds from the back of Dean’s throat. And when he said he’d choose the pace, he meant it. He deliberately sought out all the places that made Dean squirm and arch and moan.

And just when Dean thought he couldn’t take any more, Cas braced himself over Dean with an arm under Dean's head and kissed him so thoroughly it left him breathless with wanting. “Cas, c'mon, please. I need you to…” Cas tongued at the spot just under Dean's chin, and he groaned at the burst of pinprick pleasure. “Touch me, oh fuck. Mmm. Touch me, please.”

Dean felt Cas's smirk against his skin. “I am touching you.” He gently squeezed the hand he had on Dean's jaw for emphasis.

Groaning, Dean tried to buck up against him, but Cas lifted his hips away. “You fucker. You know what I mean. Put your hand on my cock or I swear to God, Cas—”

“You're awfully demanding for someone who wants me to do something nice for them. Maybe you could ask more politely.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Dean's cheeks flamed and his stomach twisted in the hottest way. How had Cas pegged him so fast? “Please put your hand on my damn cock, Cas,” Dean tried, unable to help the bratty edge in his voice.

Cas slid his hand down between their bodies, knuckles dragging over the soft skin of Dean's belly, then stopped just shy of his goal. “Try again.”

“Mmnn… I…” Dean gulped in air, squeezing his eyes shut and trying not to squirm. “Please, Cas. I—I need you to touch my cock. Please.”

“Better,” Cas whispered in his ear, and, oh god, finally, his fingers skimmed over Dean's straining, needy dick, closing around him in a cultured, firm grip that curled Dean's toes. He started pulling gently, tugging, rubbing his thumb over the slippery head of Dean's cock. Helplessly, Dean rocked his hips into it, clutching at Cas's shoulders.

“Cas, I want… I want…” Dean lost his train of thought each time it formed, too swept up in sensation, Cas's teeth and lips and tongue, his hand, all working to bring Dean swiftly to the edge.

“We have all night, right?” Cas asked breathlessly, his hot, hard cock grinding in the groove of Dean's thigh. Dean hummed agreement, the need to come already pushing at the edges of his awareness. God, Cas was good at this. “Then let me. I want to see you lose it for me Dean. I want to feel you come… and I want to hear what you sound like while I can still focus on it.” He bit below Dean's ear, just shy of pain, and Dean thrusted up into his tightening grip, panting. “Can you do that for me?”

“Y-yeah,” Dean managed, and then Cas was kissing him again, deep, sexy fucks of his tongue, flashing all sorts of ideas through Dean's mind. What would Cas's cock feel like in his mouth? How would Cas's tongue feel on his cock? In his ass?

Dean's body stiffened, he bit down on Cas's bottom lip, hard, and came with a long, low groan. Cas jerked him through every spurt and tremor until Dean was shaking with oversensitivity.

 

*****

 

Later, after Cas kissed Dean through his afterglow, he took the time to study the blissed out, hazy satisfaction on Dean's face, his slitted, barely open bottle green eyes bright. He was stunning, arousing, painfully so. Cas managed to contain himself just long enough for Dean to recover before working him up again. It wasn’t long until he was watching Dean scramble a hand at his nightstand, searching for lube and condoms—apparently Dean was great at scavenging, because it’d been months since Cas’d seen either, not that he had anyone to use them with if he had—and tossed them both to him. Dean rolled over onto his stomach, face down, ass up, and even in the dark, Cas could tell how glorious the view was.

He wanted to take his time, had _planned_ to, but Cas wasn't a saint, and despite his mounting need to make this a night Dean wouldn't forget, he only had so much restraint. So he did his best, teased with his slick fingers, sank them inside Dean, murmuring about how good it felt, how good he looked into Dean's ear, until neither of them could take it anymore.

Rearing back up onto his knees, Cas tore the condom wrapper open, readied himself, and pushed slowly into Dean’s body, hot, wet, lovely pressure surrounding his cock. A rush of air left his lungs explosively. He'd almost forgotten how good this felt, though his memories of fleeting pleasure paled to this moment.

“God, Cas,” Dean moaned.

Cas rolled his hips experimentally, rocking deeper. “Is this what you wanted?”

“Yes,” Dean hissed, breath catching in the middle. “Fuck, yes.”

Dean was shoving back with every thrust forward Cas made, angling himself so Cas was sliding in and out just the way Dean wanted him to. He fucked a little harder in response, encouraged by the breathy grunts and gasps Dean was making, fingers clenching around Dean’s hips, pulling him into it. Cas could feel his orgasm fast approaching. He dropped forward over Dean, getting an arm around his shoulders for leverage, thrusting harder, quicker.

“Touch yourself,” he panted in Dean’s ear. “I need you to… mmm… you feel so… I’m so—”

The sounds Dean was making—hot, filthy, little sounds—picked up in volume and force, and Cas couldn’t see it, but he could picture just how it would look; Dean with his hand around his thick, perfect cock, Cas fucking into his tight round ass. And then Dean was tensing around him, groaning muffled and low; a raw moan that could’ve been Cas’s name, and that was… that was—

Cas flooded the condom in violent euphoric pulses that drained him and left his balls aching. He sagged against Dean, sweaty forehead pressing to the back of his shoulder, and they stayed that way, gasping, slowly catching their breath.

 

*****

 

Dean woke before the sun like he always did, but instead of rolling out of bed, getting himself a breakfast of dry cereal, and sitting on the porch to listen for monsters growling beyond the high fences they'd erected, he stayed in bed. Cas was still fast asleep beside him, face half-smooshed into the pillow, dark hair everywhere. Dean’s heart stuttered. He’d spent the night with his fair share of people, before and after the end, but he’d never woken up next to someone and felt his stomach swoop like this.

And suddenly he really wished Cas wasn’t just passing through. Yesterday, it sounded perfect to Dean; a night of no strings attached fun with a hot guy was right up his alley. But then… then he’d seen how shy and awkward Cas had been around everyone. How out of practice with people he was. And something in Dean’s chest tightened. He wanted to take Cas home and keep him there. Wanted to teach him to talk to people again. Wanted to know what he’d been through, and what was hiding behind the haunted look in his eyes. Everyone had a tragic story these days, and Dean had enough of his own, but he wanted to make Cas’s ghosts disappear. It was an impossible desire, but it didn’t stop Dean from feeling like he’d been run over by a truck with it.

Was it so wrong that for once, Dean wanted someone to stay? Was there a way he could convince Cas to?

By the time Cas finally woke, Dean had given in to the call of nature and made a trip outside. He charmed his way into Ellen making him two cups of coffee even though they were rationing, and they were sitting warm on the counter when Cas slowly stretched beneath the blankets and sat up with a confused frown pulling at his expressive pink lips. Dean smiled at him.

“Morning,” he said, trying not to stare too blatantly at all the toned tan muscle now on display. “Sleep well?”

Cas hummed. His voice was huskier than usual when he spoke. “It’s been a while since I slept for so long or so comfortably. Thank you.”

“Easy to please, ain’t ya?” Dean grinned and brought the mugs over to the bed. “What’ll coffee get me?”

Cas suddenly seemed much more alert, eyes sparkling with amusement. “Possibly the offer of my hand in marriage, especially if it’s good.” Dean’s heart skipped and warmth flooded his face and chest.

“Well, shoot. It’s only instant,” Dean said settling down beside Cas and handing him a cup.

“It’s been so long since I’ve had it, I’m not sure I could tell,” Cas admitted, pausing to savor the smell of the coffee before sipping at it. The expression on his face was priceless; a man seeing the face of God. Dean had to bite his lip to keep from laughing.

They drank in silence, Dean not wanting to interrupt the religious experience Cas was currently having. Which reminded Dean of his own damn near religious experience the night before. Heat curled in his gut. Cas seemed so unassuming and uncertain of himself at the party, but the second Dean had him alone, it was like a switch flipped. Hot, demanding, everything Dean liked in a partner, and he was even sexier under those clothes than Dean would’ve expected. Arousal simmered in Dean’s gut, and he set his empty mug down beside the bed.

All it took was a crooked smile from Dean and Cas was on him. They fucked slow and lazy, Cas sucking Dean off with torturous precision, all heat and perfect suction while Dean murmured praise. He climaxed with a rush of pleasure and kissed Cas after, tasting himself in Cas’s mouth with a tingle of renewed arousal. Dean jerked him off, pulling out all his best tricks, figuring out what Cas liked. And when Cas wrapped his hand tightly around Dean’s and guided him to a faster, snugger grip, Dean moaned into his mouth. Cas came with a quiet, choking gasp. _So damn hot._

A little while later, they both crammed into Dean’s tiny shower. The cool water only slightly took the edge off how arousing the sight and feel of Cas all slick with water was. It wasn’t until they were toweling off and dressing that Dean’s panic over Cas leaving kicked in full force. He wasn’t ready for this to end. Good things, really good things, were rare nowadays. Seemed a waste to squander it when one came along.

“Look,” Dean said after Cas had gathered his stuff and thanked him for everything. “If you're plannin’ to explore the city or whatever, you should at least let me show you around.”

There was a small smirk on Cas’s still puffy pink lips. “I can handle myself, Dean. I’ve been watching my own back for a long time, and I just spent the last week making my way to Sioux Falls alone. I’ll be fine.”

Dean shrugged awkwardly, trying to cover his discomfort with a flirty smile. “I’m sure you can handle yourself just fine. But… uh, I'll feel better if you at least let me teach you where to avoid. Besides, I gotta make a run anyway.”

Cas scrutinized him, gaze flicking between Dean’s eyes, like he could see exactly what Dean was thinking. The back of Dean’s neck burned, and he rubbed at it.

“Okay,” Cas said finally.

 

*****

 

He’d been staying with Dean for two weeks now, Cas mused. Two weeks of Dean showing him around the city, picking off monsters as they went, scavenging things the camp needed. There were a few close calls that made Cas grateful to have someone at his back, but also made his chest tighten with the kind of fear he loathed. As much as he never wanted to care about someone again, Dean had squirmed and pushed his way past Cas’s defenses. Every night Dean came up with another excuse for Cas to stay, and Cas humored him by pretending he still intended to leave without Dean expressly telling him to.

Dean was cleaning his guns on the kitchen table in the fading orange sunlight that filtered in through the window. He was breathtaking at all times, but in the sunset he was devastating. Cas still wondered how someone like Dean had ever taken interest in the awkward broken shell of a man he felt like he was most days. But Dean looked at him, and Cas didn’t feel quite as hopeless as he had. His chest still ached whenever his thoughts strayed to his past, but he was getting good at burying it. His method of coping probably wasn’t the healthiest. Things just seemed less overwhelming that way.

Day by day, he was finding where he fit. It was frightening, and it was difficult, but it seemed worth the fear and uncertainty when Dean lifted his gaze from his task and looked at Cas like he was something incredible.

 

*****

 

They were at the gate, gearing up for a run into the city when the growls and howling started. It seemed to be coming from all around them. Dean ordered people into defensive positions. It'd been weeks since the last attack on the camp. They hunted the woods to a good radius around here to keep the odds down. His dad and Uncle Bobby had worked to set up the camp, scrambling enough survivors together to make a go of it, to make it defensible. A lot of their army buddies had made their way here too, which meant they'd had a good chance. Some people were lost along the way, but the rest were thriving half-decently. Eeking out a living and Dean hoped there were more places like this out there somewhere. There had to be.

Right now, he focused on gathering up a hunting party and weapons. They learned early on that if they waited for the creatures to attack it was always worse. Some of them were capable of strategizing to a limited degree, enough that it could make trouble if they got in close.

Cas insisted on going with Dean. His crossbow wasn’t the best for close quarters, but he had a gun he kept in a boot holster, a knife in the other, and for the most part he found vantages he could defend Dean from. They worked well as a team, and this time was no different. They worked in teams of four, and they all knew which ground to cover.

Dean waved Jo off to his left, Benny to his right. Cas took up the rearguard. There was a volley of gunfire and an enraged snarl off behind them, somewhere deep in the woods, and Dean tuned it out. He had to focus on his area, knew better than to get distracted by worry. Worrying too much got people killed.

An arrow whizzed past him before Dean even noticed the monster silently stalking them. His eyes went wide when it dropped from a tree branch a few feet in front of him. What the hell even _was_ that? Its sharp claws and massive teeth gleamed in the sunlight filtering through the canopy. Whatever it was, he’d almost taken it to the face. Thank fuck Cas was so observant. He glanced to his right and left, making sure Benny and Jo noticed. They had, and they adjusted their search to compensate, checking the foliage too as they went.

Jo picked off two, Benny and Dean each got one, Cas bagged four, and by the sound of gunfire all around the woods, the others were working their way through whatever these were too. It was damn lucky these things didn’t seem too smart, ’cause there were enough of them that they could’ve overwhelmed them. _Once in a while luck’s on our side,_ Dean thought grimly. It took hours, but they finally scoured the area, cleared it, and collected the dead bodies ’cause leaving them around could attract larger predators.

Afterwards, Cas and Dean showered one by one, exhausted and sweaty. They ate, then crawled into bed for a much needed nap. Later, Dean would have to think about the new threat they were facing. Maybe think about clearing a wider radius of trees around the camp, but for now, he just wanted to sleep next to Cas.

When he woke in the afternoon it was to Cas stroking his fingers along his back in random patterns that raised goosebumps on Dean’s skin and made his cock swell. He smiled into Cas’s warm bare chest and stretched against him, letting Cas feel exactly what he did to him.

“So, I was thinking,” Dean said, voice sleep-thick and slurring. “Attacks’ve been ramping up lately. If you leave right now, I’ll worry. So, maybe you should stick around another night. ’Sides, wouldn't you rather fuck me right now than wander off?”

“Always,” Cas rumbled, and Dean tried so hard not to read into that one word.

 

*****

 

Summer faded into fall, the leaves changed and the air cooled. Cas loved autumn, the crisp freshness in the chilly air was one of his favorite scents. Dean still asked him to stay each night. Cas wasn’t entirely sure if Dean really expected him to leave, but he also didn’t want to take for granted that Dean truly wanted him to stay. So each night, Cas felt like he held his breath waiting for Dean to ask, and Dean seemed to hold his breath waiting for the answer.

“Psst. Cas.” Cas glanced down the deserted street at Dean. The area they were in wasn’t one Dean frequented, but they were on the hunt for meds and supplies. The usual places Dean and his people scavenged had run dry, so they’d decided to venture farther. People tended to get sicker over the winter, and Cas had idly wondered what would happen when they finally ran out of places to look. That was something to worry about later though.

He caught up to Dean. “Hmm?”

“Help me keep an eye on Sam, yeah?”

“Of course, Dean.”

Sam was behind them with Jo and Benny, almost as safe as Dean could make him. It was obvious Dean hated taking Sam out somewhere he couldn’t control enough variables. Hell, Cas hated either of them being out here. He’d gladly have gone by himself if Dean would ever have agreed to such a proposition.

Their expedition proceeded peacefully for some time. The suburb they'd begun to loot seemed to be as deserted as it first appeared. Houses stood empty, some contained supplies that hadn't been picked over yet. They found half-full bottles of antibiotics, cold and flu medicines, pain relievers. There were canned goods, and a few shelf-stable pantry items that hadn't spoiled.

“Hey, check that out,” Sam said when they exited an empty home, indicating a large wooden cross listing sideways in the backyard of a house further down the road. Out front, a lampost was doing the same. “Wonder if they thought it would protect them?”

Cas contemplated the silver cross on the necklace he wore. “Or perhaps they wanted to prove they believed in spite of it all.”

Sam's eyes flicked to the same necklace Cas had been thinking about. “Is… um, that what you do?”

Cas shook his head. He didn't, not anymore. “We should keep up with the others.” He looked up to where Dean was walking with Benny and Jo, focused on the next house.

A flash of movement caught Cas's eye, then another. They'd been lulled into a false sense of safety, and now they were about to be caught off guard. Cas glanced around fast, noting several more creatures stalking them from behind and the sides, circling in. Sam went rigid beside him, following his line of sight. His fingers tightened on his rifle.

“Cas—”

“I see them. We're going to catch up to the others and warn them. We're going to do it normally. They're working together, we need to as well.” They were outnumbered. Perhaps if they could reach the next house, they could make a stand and defend it, but out here, exposed… their odds were poor.

Cas and Sam had almost caught up to the others when everything went to hell. Benny finally noticed they had company. He fired at the closest creature, injuring it, and the rest of the beasts surged forward to attack. Cas got his crossbow free in an instant, loosed a bolt and picked off one beast, then reloaded and took down another. Snarls and gunfire filled the air, the creatures were closing in.

There was a shout of pain, and Cas saw Benny shoot a creature that had gotten too close, red gashes left bleeding along his side. He fell to the ground. Dean and Jo closed ranks around him, protecting him.

Cas dropped and grabbed the gun from his boot. “Sam, we need to get over there!”

They gave up ground, Cas firing every round he had before he dropped the gun and switched back to his crossbow. They made another stand closer to Dean and Jo. There were still too many monsters coming at them. They needed to get to a house. They needed to find a defensible position.

Dean came to the same conclusion because he shouted at them to get Benny up and haul ass for the house. “I'll hold them off!” he yelled.

Cas felt his eyes going wide, his lips parting, a memory snapping to the forefront of his mind. His brother's whiskey eyes, brows drawn down with determination. _“Take Hannah and run, Cas. I've got this, kid. I'll hold 'em off.”_

Cas's chest caved in. He'd wanted to refuse, but Hannah was pulling at his hand, terror in her face and voice.

 _“Dean, no!”_ Sam widened his stance, shooting as many as he could. Cas snapped back to the present.

Whatever Dean's plan had been, the answer was no. Cas was _not_ cool with it. He wasn't about to let that happen to him again. He couldn't let someone he loved die for him again.

“Sam and Jo, get Benny, and get him inside,” Cas demanded. “I'll get Dean.”

Sam glanced at him, but they didn't have time. “Now, Sam!” he insisted, just as Dean yelled, “You go too, Cas!”

“You don't get to die on me, Dean Winchester! I'm not accepting that!” Cas saw the moment Dean realized that he had absolutely no intention of leaving him there. The second he changed tactics from martyring himself to figuring out how to get Cas out of this alive. Sam must have too, because he and Jo got Benny up between them and started staggering toward the house while Cas kept the path clear and Dean covered him.

The monsters were overrunning them. Cas could only reload so fast, and then Dean was hauling him up by the back of his shirt and shoving him toward the house. “Go, go, go, go, go!”

Cas grabbed Dean's hand and made a run for it. His heart was pounding, throat closing off with a mixture of terror and adrenaline. They were so close. And then something barrelled into them from behind, shoving them facedown in the dusty front yard. The crossbow flew from his grip, he rolled himself over, punching and kicking at the monster on them. Huge teeth snapped too close to his face. Cas struggled hard, managed to get his foot up high enough to grab the knife from his boot, and started stabbing violently.

He didn't notice Dean doing the same until they wriggled out from under the whimpering, dying creature. Another was fast approaching, but Dean had a gotten his backup gun in hand. He fired, wounding it enough that it slowed. They grabbed their weapons and rushed for the front door. When Cas whirled around to defend the entrance, he saw more hideous bodies than there should've been surrounding the one he and Dean had killed. There was a burst of gunfire from upstairs, and Cas put two and two together.

Dean reloaded his rifle, tapped Cas on the shoulder to get him to move and took over guarding there. He handed Cas the handgun he'd used earlier. “Get the back!”

“Don't do anything stupid!” Cas demanded, rushing further into the house. There were broken windows all over, furniture knocked askew and papers littering the floor.

“I'll try not to!” He heard Dean shout.

In the kitchen Cas found a busted out window over the sink, the back door boarded up. He set himself up at the window and loaded his crossbow.

He was starting to run low on bolts, but he hadn't had time to retrieve any yet. He hoped he had enough.

 

*****

 

Dean held his breath after the last shot he fired. No more monsters in his sight. The house was silent. He waited. Still nothing. “Cas?” he yelled into the house.

“I think it's clear.”

“Hold a little longer.” These ones were smart. It hadn't taken long to figure out they'd walked right into some kind of trap. Dean rubbed the scratch on his cheek. Skidding across the ground on your face friggin’ sucked.

“Dean?” Sam asked from behind him, probably on the stairs.

“You okay?” Dean asked.

“Yeah, you?”

“Peachy.”

“There's… um. A lot of blood on you.”

“Not mine. How's Benny?”

“Pissed he got hurt, so hopefully that means he's okay. Jo's bandaging him up. I think maybe she likes him.”

Dean couldn't help but grin at that. “Obviously. Surprised it took you this long to notice with that gigantic brain of yours.”

“Are we good, you think?”

Dean shrugged a shoulder in a yes-maybe gesture. “Cas, you still good back there?”

“No movement.”

“I'm gonna call it.” To Sam he said, “Stick with Jo. Cas and I are gonna go scout around. Retrieve his bolts if it's clear. Get Benny ready to go, and we'll get back to the ’cycles as soon as we're done. Might as well see if there's anything here worth taking while you're at it.”

He and Cas headed cautiously outside. As Dean was yanking arrows out of monster meatsacks, Cas spotted one last straggler and near silently took it down. Dean whistled low. Cas rolled his eyes, but shot him a smirk.

Once they'd gathered as many of Cas's arrows as they could, Dean finally let himself survey the carnage. The sun was getting low, and clouds were rolling in, orange light and shadows lending a surreal glow the the scene. Dean didn't count the bodies, but he was impressed they'd made it through all that mostly unscathed. He'd been ready to die back there, making a last stand to save Cas and Sam, Benny and Jo, except the stubborn dicks wouldn't let him. Thank fuck.

 

 

*****

 

The door to Dean's cabin had hardly been closed before he was on Cas, mouth hot on his. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean's broad shoulders, pressed himself close. He could feel Dean's heart beating fast against his chest, and his lungs constricted so he could hardly breathe with how wrong this all could've gone. How alone he could be right now.

His hands trembled as he unzipped and pushed Dean's jacket off. They made their way to Dean's bed, leaving a trail of discarded clothes along the way between passionate, soul baring kisses. Cas pulled Dean down on top of him, reveling in the warm weight over him and between his legs. He could've lost this, and his closed eyes pricked with tears.

“Dean, can you…” Cas let out a soft gasp as Dean's tongue swirled along the dip in his chin.

“Anything,” Dean said softly, and he was clinging to Cas as much as Cas was clinging to him.

“I want you inside me.”

“Yeah?” Dean asked.

“Please,” Cas sighed.

Dean fucked him gently. He built Cas up with teasing touches, then pushed into him slowly. He made it last. The two of them holding onto each other, saying with their bodies all of the things they hadn't said out loud yet, Cas felt like his body was combusting alongside his heart. He wanted Dean so much, _loved_ Dean so much, and he never wanted this to end.

Sweat glistened on their skin, they slid together slickly, bodies joining again and again in a rhythm that made Cas gasp for air, pleasure building and resonating in every part of him. _Dean's here. He's right here. He's inside me. He's—he's here._ Dean slipped a hand between them, and Cas's back arched instinctively with how good Dean's fingers felt wrapped around him. The steady-fast strokes of Dean's fist were coiling heat and pressure in Cas's groin, and he was so close. “Dean,” he panted, “I… I… ah, _yes.”_

He crested with a blazing rush of pleasure, writhing beneath Dean, shaking. Dean's hips faltered, ground deep into him, and he moaned with his face buried in Cas's shoulder.

They stayed that way for a long time, Cas trembling, clutching Dean to his chest, Dean's arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders.

 

*****

 

Cas's head was warm and heavy on his chest. He'd barely let Dean go since they'd perfunctorily cleaned up and collapsed together beneath the blankets. Dean massaged his fingers through Cas's hair, down the back of his neck. He trailed them over the skin warm metal of Cas's necklace, down to the silver cross that was resting on him. He fingered it. Wanted to ask about it, along with the bracelet Cas wore, the one inscribed with the name _Gabriel_.

He didn't. He never did. Maybe deep down Dean was a coward, but he was still so afraid of pushing Cas away with too many questions. Cas never meant to stay. That he was still here at all oughta be enough for Dean.

“It belonged to my sister,” Cas said quietly, pressing closer to Dean's side.

“You had a sister?”

“Hannah was my twin. We had an older brother too, Gabriel.” Cas's voice was wrecked.

“Cas you don't hafta…”

“I told you I came to Sioux Falls on my way to explore what was left of the world, but that wasn't really true. I told myself it was, but really I was just looking for a way out. When Hannah got sick, she never stopped believing she'd get better. _You'll see, Cas. God's watching. I know I'll be okay._ She said that to me hours before she stopped breathing. And Gabriel, he sacrificed himself. We didn't have weapons, you know, when the world ended. Our family used to, my father taught me to use a crossbow as soon as I was able, but when we moved to the city with Gabriel we thought we'd never need them. And then we were trapped and out of options, and he looked at me and said, _Take Hannah and run, Cas. I'll hold 'em off.”_

Dean winced. No wonder Cas had lost it at him out there. “Cas, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.”

There was water—no, tears—pooling on Dean's chest and his heart ached for Cas.

“I didn't want to leave him. I didn't… but Hannah needed me. And then she was gone too,” Cas said miserably. “So I couldn't stay in the place she died. And I had nowhere to go. And I swore I'd never let someone matter to me as much as they did. That I'd never hurt like that again.” Cas broke off, and went quiet. Dean waited for him to say more, and the minutes stretched on. He didn't know what to say.

After a while, he finally decided maybe he should change the subject. Maybe this was too much for Cas. “So… it's almost winter, y’know. I think maybe you should stick around a while longer—so you don't freeze to death before—”

“Dean, don't bother asking me to stay,” Cas said tiredly.

Was it possible to physically feel your heart being ripped from your chest? 'Cause Dean was pretty sure the agony that tore through him was exactly that. Cas looked up at him when he must have sensed Dean go rigid beneath him. He stared at Dean confused, like he didn't understand why Dean would be gutted he was planning to leave.

Cas rolled his eyes. “Because I love you, you insufferable idiot. I'm not going anywhere. I haven't intended to for some time.”

“You… uh, you haven't? Wait—You… you do?”

“You've practically had me in the palm of your hand from the moment we met. You _saved_ me, Dean. I just poured out my soul to you, why would I walk away now?”

Dean felt one part stupid, eight parts relieved, and another part euphoric. “If anyone's had someone in the palm of their hand this whole time, it's you,” Dean argued. “Like I've ever begged anyone I've slept with to stay in my life. It's humiliating, is what it is. God, I love you.” A bubble of joy welled up in Dean's chest, and he pulled Cas into a kiss that echoed his words. _Cas is staying. Cas loves me!_

Hell or high water. Whatever was waiting at the end of all this, it'd never take away this shining, perfect moment in Dean's life. And if he was lucky, and he liked to think he was, they'd face down any obstacle in their way. They'd survive this.


End file.
